1. |
The Other Side
03:26
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I wanna cross
To the other side
Just to see if you were right
I wanna cross
To the other side
Just to see it in plain sight
All the answers I once found
In big blue eyes staring down
Was it right
I know that there’s another side
Put in time all over town
I’ve burned holes right in the ground
Just looking for
Screaming into the other side
Oh I wanna cross
Into the other side
Just for a second
Just to know without a doubt that you were right
You always said
You knew with all your might
So then show me
Because I wanna see the other side
And with my eyes closed
I listen in the night
Thinking it’d be nice
Just to see
The other side
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2. |
Hanging On A Line
04:23
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Checking the phone of the one you hold dear
Checking yourself as you stare in the mirror
Do you wanna go wanna get out of here
I’m waving a flag in an eggshell white
Painting my face making sure it looks right
Holding the key and I’m holding it tight
Sink while swimming keep your head up high
Sometimes winning never holding tight
You and I
You and I
Hanging on a line
It’s got you too
Saying it’s fine
When it’s not up to you
And in due time
We’ll see this through
And follow all the
Maps we drew
In my life
I wanna be
Good for you baby
And you for me
But only time
Will make it clear
Give me some water
Let’s get out of here
I’m playing games like I’ve been for a while
You’re dropping names but that suits your style
Holding me close taking inches for miles
Calling your name in a major key
Floating above never moving our feet
Am I seeing you the same way you see me
Both our names light up in neon
Find something we can agree on
You and I
You and I
Hanging on a line
It’s got you too
Saying it’s fine
When it’s not up to you
And in due time
We’ll see this through
And follow all the
Maps we drew
In my life
I wanna be
Good for you baby
And you for me
But only time
Will make it clear
Give me some water
Let’s get out of here
Sink while swimming keep your head up high
Sometimes winning never holding tight
You and I
You and I
Hanging on a line
It’s got you too
Saying it’s fine
When it’s not up to you
And in due time
We’ll see this through
And follow all the
Maps we drew
In my life
I wanna be
Good for you baby
And you for me
But only time
Will make it clear
Give me some water
Let’s get out of here
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3. |
The Light
03:36
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Walk the line
Knowing it’s not in fashion
Heart on the sleeve of my satin blouse
Going to your house
Every night
Looking for satisfaction
You could be a lover
But honestly I’ve had too many to count
Part of me is over it
Pretend I don’t give a shit
I answer your messages
Sit and I question why people leave read receipts on
And I’m just a pawn
In some game of love
This isn’t me at all
Need to change it up
I’ve seen the light
But it doesn’t mean that much
Can’t fall asleep
I may never get up
Into the night
I think my time is up
I’ve seen the light
And that’s enough -----
So I try softness
Sometimes mistaken for kindness
But if I’m too kind that’s weakness
‘Till I become blind
And sleepless
Can’t treat this
Oh I’m faithful
To those I feel deserve love
But I guess that’s everyone
Not sure that I have enough
Nobody’s made me feel this way
And now I’ll never be the same
Hang up the phone and scream your name
Again again
But I like the pain
I’ve seen the light
But it doesn’t mean that much
Can’t fall asleep
I may never get up
Into the night
I think my time is up
I’ve seen the light
That’s enough
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4. |
Fear
03:55
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Roll around in the shadows like a cat in the light
I’m scared of everyone
One ear in the clouds and one to the ground
I jump and scatter at every sound
Where does my fear come from
I roll around avoid the sun
Fear of everyone
Fear of harnessing power
Fear of screaming too loud
Fear of wasting an hour
Fear of never getting it together
Fear of being lazy
Fear of the mouse in my kitchen
Fear of going crazy
I’m running from something
I know I can’t go too fast
You want something you can’t control
Two hands touching through glass
Two bodies in the bathtub
Don’t wanna drown
I’m wearing two paper hats and calling them crowns
New years eve two thousand thirteen
Threw my boots off the balcony
I wasn’t clean like I wanted to be
Like I wanted to be
Like I wanted to be
New Year’s Eve two thousand thirteen
Threw my boots off the balcony
I wasn’t clean like I wanted to be
Like I wanted to be
Like I wanted to be
Roll around in the shadows like a cat in the light
I’m scared of everyone
One ear in the clouds and one to the ground
I jump and scatter at every sound
Where does this fear come from
I roll around avoid the sun
Fear of everyone
Fear of harnessing power
Fear of screaming too loud
Fear of wasting an hour
Fear of never getting it together
Fear of being lazy
Fear of the mouse in my kitchen
Fear of going crazy
Fear of everyone
Fear of harnessing power
Fear of screaming too loud
Fear of wasting an hour
Fear of never getting it together
Fear of being lazy
Fear of the mouse in my kitchen
Fear of going crazy
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5. |
Every Day
01:27
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I’m wait wait wait waiting for your call
Got my phone open vibrating on the table top
Sometimes I feel like you don’t think of me at all
But mostly I’m hoping I’m on your mind every day (every day every day)
And every night (every night every night)
If you’re okay then maybe drop me a line
I often wonder if you’re only in my dreams
Unfortunately it wouldn’t be a first for me
Imagination working over actively
I’m needing all these doubts to wash away (wash away wash away)
Out of my life (out my life out my life)
And if it’s fate I’m willing to take my time
Oooo every day (every day every day)
And every night (every night every night)
If you’re okay then maybe drop me a line
Oooo every day (every day every day)
And every night (every night every night)
I can’t always wait for invisible visible visible signs
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6. |
Living At The Ceiling
04:44
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Rolling in the right mind
Feels like such a long time
From what we created
Every day another one fades away
Remember when we sat still
I would’ve waited until
The morning
For you to say
For you to say something
Can you describe how to catch a feeling
Changing your mind isn’t worth the dealing
But once you decide you’re living at the ceiling
You can’t get no high
You can’t get no higher
x2
Running by your side
Thought we’d hit the right stride
But the longer we waited
Every step
Left us with something less
Remember when I held back
Brought over a suitcase but never unpacked
I couldn’t wait for you to say something
Can you describe how to catch a feeling
Changing your mind isn’t worth the dealing
But once you decide you’re living at the ceiling
You can’t get no high
You can’t get no higher
x2
I would wait for you to say something
for you to say
You to say something
Now I watch you disappear
We never made
Never made it through
But the further I
Stumble from you
The more I see it clear
Can you describe how to catch a feeling
Changing your mind isn’t worth the dealing
But once you decide you’re living at the ceiling
You can’t get no high
You can’t get no higher
We were too blind to understand the meaning
What we could provide
Was less than we were needing
But once you decide you’re living at the ceiling
You can’t get no high
You can’t get no higher
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7. |
Mirror Talk
03:21
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It’s time to start the day
Even if it’s half gone away
Won’t even change my clothes
Nobody ever has to know
I’m getting high on the weekend
And I don’t feel too much like speaking
Sometimes I get so mad
Feelings I never knew I had
I’m staring at the screen
Watching the time that’s wasting me
I get along as I need to
Waiting for the sun
To break through
There is a lie
That I speak clearer
To only myself
In the mirror
Tracing my own features in the steam
In my wildest dreams
I don’t even know where I’d be
I just want to go back to sleep
Making my little bed
Counting the seconds in my head
Till I can drift away
Tomorrow’s just another day
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8. |
Two Beers In
04:33
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I’ll be the book that’s always open
Two beers in and still i’m hoping
I’ve never met someone like you
I heard the whispers in the air
I’ll stay faithful I don’t care
Draw me closer and you see right through
Playing tricks on my own mind
Those shooting stars are only airplane lights
This happens all the time
You’re standing there without a doubt
And I’m a ragdoll with my insides hanging out
I’m toeing all the lines
This happens all the time
Staring up at saturn and I need to close my eyes
Recognizing patterns of a woman full of pride
And I only care what happens to the people in my life
Can I be a mother
I may never be a wife
I am the book that’s always open
Two beers in left here hoping
I’ve never met someone like you
You fill the space before my eyes
My mouth hangs open but I’m not surprised
It’s time you’ve always traveled through
Tell me to take what I can give
Some promise or a cut right through the skin
What more are you offering?
A casket or a wedding vow
I’ll take it all but need it all right now
Right now
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9. |
Beats
03:31
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Oh I think it’s courageous of you
Your thoughts are contagious
When you don’t really know what to do
But you keep going through the stages
Anyway, anyday (I wish I was ooo)
Anyone else instead of myself
I keep feeling
The beats beats
You’re gonna hurt yourself, it’s not your birthday baby
The beats beats
If there is nothing wrong, why am I down so long
If I could ever be honest
There is not enough space or time
I could row down the river of our secrets
For miles and miles and miles
said there is no virtue with no drawn lines
You said that no one could hurt you
But I do it all the time
The beats beats
You’re gonna hurt yourself, it’s not your birthday baby
The beats beats
If there is nothing wrong, why am I down so long
And anyway, anyday (I wish I was oo)
Anyone else instead of myself (I wish I was oo)
Anyway, anyday (I wish I was oo)
Anyone else instead of myself (I wish I was oo)
But I keep feeling
The beats beats
You’re gonna hurt yourself, it’s not your birthday baby
The beats beats
If there is nothing wrong, why am I down so long
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10. |
Cold Fire
04:29
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My breathing can’t be regulated
Everything I used to love
Now I hate it
I can’t say it’s all because of you
But I’d like to
Seeing visions
Seeing stars
But when I search for higher meaning
It always feels so far
I can’t even say that i’m surprised
Should have guessed it the first day I looked into your eyes
Invited yourself
Over to my house
I wanted to love you
But i should have ki - kicked you right out
I will never go back
To who I was before
Living in darkness
Never feeling sure
And only from a distance
Could I set myself free
Now you’re nothing but a ghost just
Living in my memory
Maybe I deserve it
All this wasted time
Thinking that I earned it
But that’s not right
Some days I dig a little deeper
And some I hold it all inside
I am the only keeper of the demons in my mind
I know I’m not the only one
Singing tired songs of love
Getting all hung up
When I should be moving on
Obsessing over each mistake
Indulging in a heartbreak
Where every move I make
Is the wrong one
When everyday
Filled me with doubt
They said time is a healer
I didn’t think i’d see my way out
I will never go back
To who I was before
Living in darkness
Never feeling sure
And only from a distance
Could I set myself free
Now you’re nothing but a ghost just
Living in my memory
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11. |
Dead Flowers
03:32
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Dead flowers all around me
Line the halls
In every room
I used to find them pretty
Used to love their sweet perfume
Reminded me of the dandelions cut from my parents yard
Reminded me times I didn’t need to try so hard
Dead flowers
Dead flowers
Dead
Past midnight in a hotel room
These late hours that I keep
Used to scream out stories from my bed
Kept my sister from her sleep
Reminds me of the times you told me I best settle down
Reminds me of the names I earned when no one was around
Past midnight
Darkest moonlight
Dead
And anytime I try to be mad
I seem to empathize
When friends say you’re not right in the head
It don’t stop this crying
I’m skating on a line
Trying to be fine
I should be by now
If I just count the years gone by
Dead flowers all around me
I don’t keep them just for fun
They used to be a sign I would hide from everyone
Reminding me of consolation after words would cut
Reminding me of all the ways that you kept my mouth shut
Reminds me of the time you broke down my front door
Reminding me of how you cannot hurt me anymore
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12. |
Put It Away
05:08
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Put It Away
People tell me that you’re fine
Hey they used to tell me that all the time
But I know
There’s a greater meaning
Running circles all around
Heard you’re burning circles into the ground
But I know
You’ve got an earthly feeling
Living hiding in the crowd
I got shame that calls my name way too loud
Got no time
To talk about the weather
Thinking I might start a fight
End up falling asleep by computer light
Oh I know
I can do much better
I get so nervous
Forget my purpose
I’m feeling worthless
But I gotta say
In our darkest hour
We still have some power
Enough to know how to put that shit away
(Put It Away)
How I feel
How I feel
Is it real
x2
I’ve been dreaming of a time
I’ve been thinking about making you cry
Though I know it wouldn’t satisfy me
Hobbies I’ve been taking up
Trying to forget what you made me become
No I won’t let it define me
I’m moving forward
Tide rolling over
Not always shown but
Let it remain
In our darkest hour
We never lose our power
So stand in line and put that shit away
(Put It Away)
How I feel
How I feel
Is it real
x2
I’ll take every single cent
Give back all the time we spent
Instead
Of running from you
I don’t want to
I can walk away
I’ll take every word you said
Get you right out of my head
Instead of running from your name
From now on I’ll just
Put it away
I get so nervous
Forget my purpose
I’m feeling worthless
But i gotta say
In our darkest hour
We still have some power
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13. |
The Light
03:33
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Walk the line
Knowing it’s not in fashion
Heart on the sleeve of my satin blouse
Going to your house
Every night
Looking for satisfaction
You could be a lover
But honestly I’ve had too many to count
Part of me is over it
Pretend I don’t give a shit
I answer your messages
Sit and I question
Why people leave read receipts on
And i’m just a pawn
In some game of love
This isn’t me at all
Need to change it up
I’ve seen the light
But it doesn’t mean that much
Can’t fall asleep
I may never get up
Into the night
I think my time is up
I’ve seen the light
And that’s enough -----
So I try softness
Sometimes mistaken for kindness
But if i’m too kind that’s weakness
‘Till I become blind
And sleepless
Can’t treat this
Oh i’m faithful
To those I feel deserve love
But I guess that’s everyone
Not sure that I have enough
Nobody’s made me feel this way
And now i’ll never be the same
Hang up the phone and scream your name
Again and again
But i like the pain
I’ve seen the light
But it doesn’t mean that much
Can’t fall asleep
I may never get up
Into the night
I think my time is up
And I’ve seen the light
That’s enough
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Begonia Winnipeg, Manitoba
As Begonia, Alexa Dirks has blossomed into an indie pop powerhouse who feels like music’s best-kept secret to her
fans.
New album Powder Blue is out Feb 24 on Birthday Cake Records.
Begonia has been nominated for a JUNO Award and longlisted for The Polaris Music Prize. Her music has been on numerous Netflix & Oprah Winfrey Network, and NPR named Begonia as one of 10 Artists You Need to Know.
... more
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